He looks like the dog's been keepin' him under the porch

She got whooped with an ugly stick.

So ugly that his mama had to tie a pork chop around his neck so the dogs would play with him.

So ugly the tide wouldn't take her out.

He looks like he was inside the outhouse when lightening struck.

So ugly his mama takes him everywhere she goes so she doesn't have to kiss him goodbye.

She looks like she fell face-down in the sticker patch and cows ran over her.

Advice to someone who is hesitant to do a difficult task.